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You fall in love with the emotionally unavailable father figure. He seems like “marriage material”; he’s financial stable, gentlemanly and reliable, but he’s uncomfortable talking about himself.You think he’s worth the effort and you try to pull him out of his shell.Too often we wrap our sense of confidence in a man's ability to love us the way we need him to.Just because modern science links the male brain to a lack of empathy, it doesn't mean that other factors don't come into play that can make men compassionate beings.
(Women can also have a more "male" than "female" brain; it's not just about gender.)Knowing there's scientific proof to some of mens' emotional limitations can help you stop taking a man's lack of compassion for your feelings personally.
One night, after a third highball, he gives you a glimpse into his heart. You think you are “good” for him, you think you can fix him and you fall in love with him—and then he pulls away from you.
He tells you about his bitter divorce, a hyper-critical ex, a financial fiasco or a hurtful childhood. The courtship of an emotionally unavailable man can be baffling and deflating. He calls you, he asks you out and he says and does things to pull you into a relationship.
You are responsible for giving a man space if he needs it or to accept that a relationship is over if he ends it.
You may have insecurities and you may feel that you are emotionally "too much" in the way you respond and react to a man's lack of empathy, but in a relationship with an emotionally available, compassionate man, you would not act so uncontained.
I'm not suggesting you ignore questioning whether your man is emotionally unavailable, because that's not healthy for you or your love life.
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