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The issues are as diverse as the American Muslim community scattered all over the country.Meeting venues and forums are few and this seems to be one major deterrent to suitable marriages.This, in turn, intimidates men more and they think the women are too overqualified or will not make good ‘Muslim’ wives for them and eventually get married to someone from overseas,” says Shaykh Yaser Birjas of Al Maghrib.Or someone much younger since they can without issues.This is very damaging to the psyche of the sisters in the community.
Muslim community leaders are taking notice and some are calling it an epidemic.
“Now, it became a taboo for a Muslimah to say ‘I want to get married’,” says Denise*. Women are being told that they are desperate, weak, and can’t control themselves.” The delaying of the American adolescence experience or the new emerging adulthood stage has also contributed to the delay in marriage, especially, with the high school experience extended by local community colleges.
According to the New York Times, in 1960, 77 percent of women and 65 percent of men had, by the time they reached 30, passed all five [what sociologists term as] milestones of adulthood: completing school, leaving home, becoming financially independent, marrying and having a child.
The ISNA marriage banquet sold out for the women’s section weeks in advance, while men strolled in at the last minute.
Al Rahmah Marriage Bureau in Baltimore has two women for every man in its database.As intelligent, educated, single women venture to find men to set the cornerstone for a family, they cannot find suitable matches.